On the coldest night of the year last Friday, Week 3 of the Floodlit Cup provided the best and the worst games so far in this years tournament.

Game 1: The Gurriers v The Bruisers

First game of the night was between the Gurriers and the Bruisers to decide which of them would end up as group wooden spooners. The Gurriers were once again missing a number of key players from their line up including Ken Murray, who played very well in Week 2, and Conor Morris (again!), who hasn’t showed up or played even once! In fairness, he finally contacted Gurrier management to tell them he had ‘Shin Splints’ and, as a result, was in so much pain he couldn’t play. Unfortunately though, it appears that Shin Splints Morris didn’t inform the management until just before the throw in to this game. It’s a pity!

A number of guest players turned out for both teams on the night and it was good to see Vinny Moran playing well for the Bruisers. Although he had no gargle and didn’t speak any poetry in our native tongue! he is still a presence on the field that you wouldn’t miss. Actually, to be honest, you really couldn’t miss him because of that hairstyle. It looked like some sort of retro seventies perm trying to be a noughties ‘fro. It has to be ‘in’ somewhere! At least it didn’t appear to inhibit his game.John Spain also guested on the night for the Gurriers and played quite well.

Despite the contributions of the guest players, this game was boring beyond words. In fact, it was mind numbing. At one point it looked like the fans who had braved the cold weather would freeze to death in the dugout because there was so little to cheer. The Gurriers were on top from the start and a couple of forwards scored some goals and points. Bruisers responded well but kept on trying to walk the ball into the net instead of taking their scores. Most of their attacks broke down in front of goal and each time this happened the Gurriers came back up the field to score. They were comfortably ahead approaching half-time when an excellent goal by Niall ‘The Enigma’ Murphy looked like it might bring the Bruisers back into the game but some of the Gurriers forwards cancelled out The Enigma’s score with a couple of points before the break. At the half way point the Gurriers were in front by 2-09 to 1-02.

Things didn’t improve in the second half for the Bruisers and the Gurriers pulled further and further away with more goals and more points as most of the Bruisers seemed to lose heart. Even the tremendous efforts of AfroPerm Moran couldn’t stem the Gurrier scoring tide and the final score was Gurriers 4-14, Bruisers 1-08.

To be perfectly frank, this game was about as exciting as a prostate exam! And probably just as hard to endure!! The players tried their best but it was just one of those days. Despite this, the game provided two notable moments. Moaner mentor Mark Fee guested as goalkeeper for the Gurriers. Bruiser Darren O’Reilly was clean through and hit an absolute screamer which was goalbound until Mark intervened. He didn’t save it with his hands, his arms, his feet, his legs, his back, his chest, his stomach or his head. Suffice to say that he may still be talking and singing in a soprano toned voice!! It was a great save and it’s a pity so many players and fans laughed at his discomfort!

The most active person on the pitch for this match was acting umpire Tearzy O’Rourke. He did a lot of running around and roaring every time a shot came near the goal he was umpiring, but referee Dave Conway ignored him. This made Tearzy run and roar a lot more but Dave continued to ignore him. Dave later confirmed that he ignored Tearzy because he didn’t give a signal for any of the shots at the goal so he thought he was just some cabbage running around for the craic to keep warm!

Game 2: The Moaners v The Shams

The second game of the night between the Moaners and the Shams was, without doubt, the best game of the tournament so far. For a start, the Moaner mentors did very little moaning! Moaner Shields, usually the biggest Moaner, was absent and Moaner Fee couldn’t really moan too loudly as a soprano.

Sham mentors Benjy Molloy and Cuddly Brennan were also absent and Ken Morgan appointed himself mentor, captain and spokesman for the night. As both teams had already qualified to meet in the tournament final Ken made it clear that the team intended to “play shite so they didn’t show their hand for the final”! Sham goalie Flah must have taken him at his word because he promptly conceded seven (yes 7!) goals, a tournament record, on the night. He got out of the way of some shots, jumped over others, let some through his legs and lay down flat as other shots bounced over him. It appears that he was closely watching Moaner goalie Donagh O’Farrell in week 2 and took inspiration from his leaky performance (!) in that game. However, at least Sham Flah didn’t let any of the goals in through his hands!

This game raced along and there were excellent performances from numerous players. Conor Bobbet, Ollie Donnelly, Joe Marrinan and Graham Ward were excellent for the Shams. Kevin O’Reilly and Paddy Healy were in top form for the Moaners. Tearzy O’Rourke did a lot of running and calling in the corner for the Moaners but nobody would pass him the ball! Never one to be a moaner or whiner (?!), he ran and called for the ball even more but his team mates must have thought he was still an umpire because they wouldn’t give him a pass. That’s frustrating!

Despite Ger ‘The Sieve’ Flah’s rearguard in-action in the Shams goal, beautiful long range points from Joe Marrinan and Wardy kept the Shams in touch and at half time the Moaners were in front 4-08 to 2-12. The pace and excitement of this game continued in the second half and so did The Sieve! Wardy and Joe continued to score some great points. Colum/Calum/Colm Reade and Martin Potato Murphy scored goals as the Shams tried to close in on the Moaners lead but a combination of The Sieve and excellent points from O’Reilly kept the Moaners in front. Moaner Tearzy may have finally scored a point too, possibly a free! And it remained close all the way.

With time running out and the game still in the balance, Sham Wardy collected the ball in front of his own goal from The Sieve. He took off on a tremendous, skilful, solo run, going the length of the pitch and evading tackle after tackle. Some of the tackles were pure filth! but Wardy kept going.
He had one player left to beat; a perfect shoulder feint to the right beat his man and looked to have put him through on goal. He was in a perfect position to score the goal of the tournament and then……………………………………………
he fumbled the ball, tripped over himself and fell flat on the ground!!
God love him, he was exhausted!!

The Moaners recovered the ball, went up the field for an easy score, then added one more goal for good measure and ran out winners 7-14 (yes, really, seven (7!) goals scored on Ger The Sieve Flah!!!) to 4-17.
It was a great game and, afterwards, Sham player/captain/mentor/spokesman for the night Ken Morgan said he was happy  with the performance and was looking forward to the final on the 4th December.
The Sieve had no comment!Moaner mentor Fee tried to comment but the strange soprano pitch of his voice made him hard to understand.

At the end of the 3rd week of round robin games the Moaners are top of the table with a maximum six points, followed by the Shams on four points.The Gurriers are in third place with two points and the Bruisers are the wooden spooners with a grand total of zero.

Next Friday 4th December is Finals Night.
The Gurriers play the Bruisers in the Shield Final (Game 1 – Referee Paul Coffey)
The Shams meet the Moaners in the Floodlit Cup Final (Game 2 – Referee Tony Lennon).
Prizes and awards will be made to the two winning teams on the night
All players should meet again at Sancta Maria at 7.30pm.

Footnote;
Tournament organisers wish to thank Dave Conway for refereeing both games on the night and especially for his ability to ignore the Cabbage running around behind the (Ballyboden end) goal, apparently trying to keep warm.

Following the end of the Tournament on the 4th, there will be a players night in the Club.
All players are welcome, even Shin Splints Morris.
There will be a small amount of gargle and food available!!!!!!
Throw in at the Club is at 9.30ish pm ‘til early!!!