Monsoon Start to Boden Floodlit Cup

The Floodlit Cup began last Friday (13th) in monsoon-like conditions in Sancta Maria. Despite the conditions, 51 of the registered players were on hand to play the opening games of the tournament. Most of the remaining players had legitimate reasons for not being present but there were a few, like Conor Morris, who were obviously afraid to get their toes wet. Some of the players wondered aloud, (very loud in fact), if the games would go ahead in the appalling conditions and some, especially Herro, complained vociferously about having to come out to play in the foul weather.
He finally stopped when the organisers told him to stop whining.
Following a brief pitch inspection, referee John Rutherford gave the go ahead for the games to begin.

Game 1
First up was the game between the Gurriers and the Moaners. On paper, the Gurriers looked like a strong team but they were especially hard hit by absentees and late withdrawals, such as Conor Morris, ostensibly due to the weather.
The Moaners were very motivated and got off to a great start with an early goal by somebody. Strong slow defending, reminiscent of his heyday, from Moaner Donagh O’Farrell kept the equally slow Gurrier forwards at bay for the entire first half and at half time the Moaners led by 1-06 to no score.
The second half didn’t get much better for the Gurriers as the Moaners added a goal and a point to their tally. It looked like the Gurriers were going to get a seriously embarrassing hidin’ until Moaner Donagh took the game by the scruff of the neck and scored an excellent deflected own goal from a shot by some Gurrier forward. This sparked a mini comeback by the Gurriers and they pulled back to within five points. During this phase of the game the Moaners management (Tony Shields and Mark Fee) certainly lived up to their teams name and moaned for Ireland! The amount and variety of moaning, especially from Shields, was unbelievable and it wasn’t all directed at the players. Event organisers were specifically targeted and sanctions are being considered for the next game!!  Despite the carry-on on the sideline the Moaner players finally woke up and pulled away again with an un-answered goal and two points.
Final score was 3-09 to 1-05 in favour of the Moaners.
Moaners Ciaran Byrne, Colly Dunne and Shagsy were best on the day and Tearzy O’Rourke did a lot of running and calling. Moaner Donagh’s best moment was his goal; his worst was the unrepeatable gesture aimed at the tournament organisers and a section of the fans following his goal!
On the Gurriers side Ciaran Twomey tried his best and, despite some obvious lard on board, Declan Walsh performed auspiciously well after a long absence. Brendan Young, although looking fit, still has some way to go to full fitness. His frequent substitutions on the night did not go un-noticed by seasoned observers.

Game 2
Following the unbelievable amount of moaning by the Moaners management in game 1, the second game between the Shams and the Bruisers was a much more civilised affair. Shams threw down the gauntlet early and scored two goals in the first few minutes. The Bruisers were slow to get going and only managed to score a single point in the first half. It’s unclear if the slow start was because they had to sit for so long in the rain and cold to watch the first game (which Herro whined incessantly about!) or because they were totally fazed by Sham Graham Wards’ head gear. It was some sort of hat with pigtails and frills and a fussy pattern which clearly distracted those around him. Someone said it was his girlfriends but he said it was just to keep him warm and dry.
Whatever the reason, the Bruisers trailed the Shams by 2-01 to 0-01 at half time.
The Bruisers had a much better second half and Brian Morton, James McTiernan and Fergal Haran played particularly well. Herro, who had done a considerable amount of whining earlier in the night, also had a good second half.
Goals by Ken Morgan (nah, just jokin’!) and points by somebody else brought the Bruisers to within three points and they trailed by 3-04 to 2-04 with a couple of minutes left. A point by Keith Kelly seemed to seal it for the Shams but the Bruisers came straight up the field to score their third goal and reduce the margin to the minimum.
Despite a nervous minute or two the Shams held on to win.
Final score was 3-05 to 3-04 in favour of the Shams.
To be perfectly honest, the Bruisers shouldn’t have got within an asses roar of the Shams. Even though the conditions were poor, the Sham shooting was atrocious.
It was so bad that the Sham manager Ben Molloy brought himself on as a substitute! That was some sight!! He used to be a defender! So it didn’t help the Sham shooting which remained brutal!
But a win is a win and Ben commented he was happy to get a good start in the tournament. He also praised the performances of Paul Donnelly and John White who played two games on the night because the Moaners management sneakily put them on as bangers in their game earlier in the night.

At the end of week 1 the Shams and the Moaners lead the way with two points each.
Next Friday 20th the Gurriers meet the Shams and the Moaners face the Bruisers.
All players should meet again at Sancta Maria at 7.30pm.

Footnote;
Tournament organisers are investigating the use of bangers by the Moaners in the opening game and wish to point out that openly flouting the rules of the tournament won’t be allowed Tony.
Tournament organisers also wish to thank John Rutherford for refereeing both games on the night and especially for his ability to ignore the Moaners managers moaning throughout their game.